Source Code

Have you ever wondered what it would feel like if you ever woke up in a body that’s not yours?

What would you do? What questions will you ask?

Warning: This post might end up being longer than I wanted it to be. I assure you its a great read.
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As I woke up that morning, I did with a sigh. Now you may ask why should someone wake up with a sigh, instead of giving thanks for another day or something else?

The answer is simple, in the last four years of my life I’ve spent most of it looking for a job. I graduated with a first class honors in Economics from a reputable university. It’s an irony, I mean the fact that I am an economist and should have studied the statistics concerning unemployment. I thought I was prepared for this…. I was not prepared for this.

I do menial jobs at the local plant but that isn’t enough for upkeep. I live in a rented apartment that I haven’t paid rent in over 6 months, probably because the landlady has this huge crush on me (That’s another story!) Believe when I say I don’t like it one bit. I am so frustrated with everything; the government, the bully called corruption, the injustice after my parents were killed, my teachers in secondary school who said everything is easy once you have good grades, and the present system that doesn’t work.

I sigh. As I get up from my creaky and old bed, I can hear Beautiful Nubia’s “Owuro Lojo” from the radio. I say a few prayers, I take my bath and prepare for another interview which holds this morning, can you guess what position I’m applying for? Yes, Nothing related to my field at all.

I’m applying to be a hotel attendant at this new hotel in town and I heard they pay big. I’ve made up my mind that if they tell me I’m too qualified for the job, I’ll probably cause a scene there until I’m accepted… overqualified my jobless ass.

I should tell you my name before I proceed …..nah, lets just focus on the story.

As I alight from the vehicle, I start to feel nervous. Why am I feeling nervous? I have done plenty of this and not new to the whole process. Suddenly, I see a woman waving at me and screaming and as I turned back I saw a Toyota Corolla speeding towards me.
It’s too late, I close my eyes and brace myself for impact.

My life flashes before my eyes. I feel no pain as I am ushered into the afterlife.

*Beep* *Beep* I hear beeping sounds…”There are no hospitals in the afterlife” I thought.  I hear footsteps and they seem to be getting near, I immediately closed my eyes and played possum. I can hear them talking about me using some medical terms, and suddenly I can hear another voice and it belongs  to a woman.. “Doctor, will he make it? She asks! I hear the Doctor reply her “Yes madam, he took a blow to his head and its swollen but he’ll survive” I could almost hear her breathe a sigh of relief.

At this point, I think I’ve deduced this equation. She is most likely the driver that hit me and I have somehow miraculously survived!

“His father will be pleased to hear that when I call him” She adds… wait! what? I’m an orphan.. what’s going on here?

“Yes Dear, He was preparing for work this morning when he slipped in the bathroom and the house help found him unconscious but he’s doing fine”…….. Dear? Oh no! Someone thinks this is funny, this is not funny

“We’ll see you in the evening, goodbye” She ends the call. At this point, I’m too confused to think and blurt out the first thing that’s in my head. “I have no father or mother, so what are you talking about?” I see a lot of things on her face; confusion, betrayal and hurt. After saying this, I can see the doctor talking to her about amnesia and short-term memory loss. What’s this man talking about? I’m perfectly fine, he approaches me and says ” Mr [insert name here] I know I should have given you my name, its too late now though  you are suffering from a head injury and the effects are short-term memory loss and amnesia, so its plausible that you don’t remember anything” He beckons to the now crying woman to come forward “Your mother here will try to make you remember some things, We’ll leave you two alone now” He leaves and shuts the door.

I stare at the crying woman with sympathy, clearly she doesn’t know what’s going on here and it must be painful for your child to deny your existence. “Ma, please can you tell me who I am” I ask.

She breaks down into tears! Now I’m getting irritated. “Please Mom, I’d like to know what happened” That seems to get her attention as she cleans her face and looks at me with hope or perhaps its desperation, I can’t seem to tell.

“Son, I’m your mother and your father is currently on a plane to come and meet us here” I ask her what happened to me. ” You were on your way to work this morning when you slipped in the bathroom, it was the house help that found you and alerted us, I was very scared for you dear, what will the world say MY ONLY CHILD!.. I’m just happy that you are okay”

I can’t help but notice that everything I ever desired, this guy had it I had it now. I decide to ask one more question.

“Ma, you said I have a job then why do I still live with you” She chuckles and says “You just finished your NYSC and you got a high paying job at the NSE Headquarters, you decided to stay with us for a while before you moved out because you said and I quote ‘You guys deserve it and I don’t want to make you feel lonely and alone in this big house”

Isn’t it weird? I’d probably do the same and this is definately the orphan in me talking! It makes sense that I’d be revived in this man’s body.

I have been given a second chance to live again… in another man’s body but nevertheless I’ll make sure I do the right thing, right the wrongs and lastly make sure I fulfill my role as a son to these people.

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I watched the movie ‘source code’ again and thought about what would happen if an alien woke up in a human being’s body and somehow I got here!

So guys what do you think, should I continue? Did you find it interesting? Is it a ‘bleh’ story? Please If you have anything to say/suggest/write just drop a comment! But most importantly should I continue?

Thanks for reading. 😀

That Green Stuff

This story was brought to you by PBL Inc.  And sponsored by Cool FM

I know it looks long but trust me its a great read!

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Having completed my first year in University, I’ve come to discover so many things, things that cannot be expressed in a blog, tweet, essay, words….you get the point….sure….Ok let’s move on.After thorough meditation which led to falling asleep incessantly, I can only express what I have come to discover in three words.

THAT SHIT CRAZY.

While in school, I learnt something that is very helpful, applicable to all and sundry, whether young or old, male or female, ugly or beautiful, tall or Simisola, white or ebony.

Whenever you a take a joint, please stay in an enclosed area or else…….

It all started on a cold Saturday morning, I was preparing for a school debate. I was in my room staring at the female hostel from my room, getting ideas and preparing for the debate (yeah….I’m bad like that.)Then I started to feel my stomach growling, shit happens I said……..literally. After using a drug, I felt better. Going back to prepare, I found out I was blank. Turns out when those people said “it cleans out your system” they weren’t joking.

So I sought out a remedy and I was told by Donneli that some weed might help.  I thought and decided at least I’m taking it for the right reason.

You know that feeling Obama had when he was elected in as the first nigga to be a president of USA…yeah….well it can’t be compared to what I felt after smoking a joint as big as Toke’s Bum.Everything was so clear, I mean I finally understood the message Vic O was trying to pass out, why Kanye only follows Kim K (Folks it’s not ‘cos of love…understood…Okay). While we were on our way all I could feel was peace! Peace in CU.

Am I there yet?

You see I met Peace immediately after taking the joint. Peace had a curve to die for, an ass that needed an entourage and a british accent. We started talking while on our way to the venue.When we arrived, Peace told me to loosen up adding that a very good way to start is by telling a smart joke. Only thing I could come up with was “Chuck Norris and Alomo had a fight, guess who’s bitter about that now”

Who’s bitter now?

I was called upon, and I was asked my name “Eluwande Yomi” adding “I’m also here with peace”. And them judges were like” we all are here with peace too”, I was amazed ‘cos apparently we all smoked the same joint this morning.In the middle of my debate Peace came up to me on stage, I was planning on telling her to go back but looked like them judges were comfortable with it. She instructed me to keep shut adding the Judges weren’t even listening to me at all and she was correct. Apparently they were all talking to their own version of Peace.

Wow! They are all identical!

Who? Mr Yomi..A Judge asked

Miss Peace…I said pointing to their sides.

Suddenly the judges started farting…

Oh, a farting contest innit? I said… then I started mine giving each sounds from Do Re Mi to Do

After we finished, they all started to do push-ups bare chested, and I joined! For some reason I was being recorded, my pictures were taken!

“Apparently this must be an official contest” I thought.  At this point Peace was even doing push-ups, apart from the fact that she had three tits, the only thing I found odd was that her right tit was bigger than the left. Odd Innit? That day became the worst in my life. Not because I didn’t win the debate, Not because of my antics, but because I never saw Peace again.Now no matter how high I looked or how many stones I left uncovered (did you see what I did there?) I never saw her again!

*sigh* Hope you learnt something new today?

Remember “Artists use lies to tell the truth” That chick’s father  from V for Vendetta

Drop your comments below.

DISCLAIMER

We at PBL would like to tell you that any gbagaun(funny word… isn’t it) found should be returned to the owner.

Whosoever was featured, ( Toke Simi Donneli ) I would like to thank you very much!

Thank You.